Do you love me?

Do you love me? - Part I

There are some dreams that bring a smile to your face. And then there are some nightmares that leave you chilled to your very bones even on a hot summer night.

I wake up with a jolt in the middle of the night. I look around my room and see nothing but darkness. Cold creepy darkness. I shiver and shift on my bed to search my phone that I kept on the nightstand before getting on the bed. But wait… It… It isn’t there. I shiver again and fiddle around to find the switch of the bedside lamp on the nightstand then finally turn it on.

I squeeze my eyes shut with the sudden illumination. Though the light is not that bright, it hurt my eyes after being in the creepy darkness for a long time. It might have been just a few minutes but the darkness was just too much that it felt like hours.

I slowly open my eyes and look at the nightstand but nope, my phone is still not there. I frown at the table as if it gulped down my phone or something. As far as I remember, I really did keep my phone there. But since it isn’t there, maybe I haven’t. Maybe my mind is still fuzzy from that nightmare that I can’t remember clearly.

The Nightmare…

The nightmare that I had, almost felt real. I don’t remember what I saw but I know it was scary enough to wake me up. I look at the alarm clock beside the lamp on the nightstand and see that it is 3’o clock in the morning. I shiver again when suddenly I remember what my sister said once when we were kids.

3’o clock in the morning! It’s not a good time to stay awake. They say ghosts wander around at that time.

I would scoff at that thought but since I am already spooked by the nightmare and that eerie darkness, I simply ignore it.

I pull my duvet over my whole body and in doing so, reveal my phone that was hiding underneath it. I must have fallen asleep while using it and then thanks to my awkward sleeping positions, I must have moved it under the duvet. I chuckle at my silliness and shake my head. I shouldn’t have read that paranormal book. I am sure it was the reason behind my nightmare as well as these sudden unsettling thoughts striking my mind right now.

I shake my head again as if that would clear my mind and check my phone to see if I set an alarm or not. It’s there. It is, of course, my backup. My alarm clock is far too loud to let me sleep. But still, it never hurts to have a backup. There’s an early meeting tomorrow or today in about 5 hours with my team members so I decide to turn the lamp off and sleep. As if on cue my body realizes that it didn’t have its share of rest and my eyes start feeling heavy. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I’m out like a lamp.

***

Sometimes, some things don’t happen, but you think they did. Sometimes your mind plays tricks with you but sometimes… It doesn’t.

I wake up with a jolt and groan loudly. Waking startled twice in a span of few hours is so not cool. It so wasn’t a good night for me and given the time my clock is showing right now, it wouldn’t be a good morning either. I am freaking late.

Didn’t I set an alarm last night?

I so don’t have the time to mull over it so I rush to my closet and pick my work clothes and lay them down on the bed. Next, I rush to the bathroom and straight under the shower.

I finish my shower and then my makeup all in just under fifteen minutes. I hurry out of the bathroom and suddenly the hairs at the nape of my neck stand to attention. I feel like a spine-chilling silence has hit me right now.

I look out the window and let out a long breath. For a late October day, the air today is extremely chilly. Maybe it is because I am not used to this new country at this time of the year. After all, it was my first time in New York.

But I didn’t feel this cold when I woke up.

The sudden thought of my early morning meeting hit me and I am back again rushing to get dressed. After five minutes, I am just slipping into my black pumps when I see it.

I don’t think I took out this sweater when I chose my clothes for today.

The sweater that Nick gave me.

Nick.

Nikhil.

But for me he is… was Nick.

His name is enough to make me shiver and quiver in my boots or in today’s case, pumps. And this sweater, I haven’t worn it in years. I stopped wearing it a while ago when he started to…

Urghhh…

I am not going to start thinking again. I am definitely spooked by that stupid novel and that stupid nightmare. No more thinking and mulling over any of the things that happen today. I swear on it and don up that sweater since it is really cold. And I don’t have the time to dig in my closet and find another one right now.

And I am so swearing off of paranormal books from now on.

It is almost one in the noon when I finally make my way to the break room. I managed to reach the office just when everybody was settling in for the meeting. Amidst all the cheering and wishing good morning, no one realized that I was indeed a few minutes late.

God, I am still so new to this city and its traffic!

I enter the break room just when my cell phone chimes alerting me about a new text message. I look down at my phone but before I can see the message, I hear my name.

“Agatha.”

That voice made me stop at my place. No, this can’t happen.

I am almost afraid to look up and meet those eyes that twinkle every time I meet their gaze. I am still looking at my phone but the screen is not lightened and given the slight shivering of my fingers, I don’t even attempt to do it.

“Agatha?”

No, he can’t be here. Nikhil can’t be here.

But he is here and calling my name and here I am standing like a deer that is caught in the headlights. Which I think I am but at least the deer looked straight into the light with fear. I am not even lifting my eyes!

Since when have you been a coward, Agatha?

I scold myself. Fine, he is here. Why can’t he be? Many people enter this country, you fool. Didn’t you jump on the first flight you could get to come here and leave your family behind? Leave him behind.

Now I am really acting like a fool! Scolding myself and talking to myself in the middle of the day while a guy is standing right here calling my name again and again.

Great!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and then let it out. With all the courage that I could muster, I open my eyes and look up.

Shit!

Why is he here?

I look at the face that once belonged to my best friend and then my…

I shake my head and scowl at him. “What are you doing here, Nikhil?”

“Nikhil? Not your Nick anymore?” A shadow crosses his face and I blame it on my fuzzy mind. He is still there smiling with a grin on his face as if he really expects me to go and throw myself into his arms. Like I used to do before…

“You were never my Nick.” I am not going to let my thoughts drift that way.

“Why are you here, Nikhil?” I ask again.

“I want to ask you something.”

No. Please no. Not this again.

“Are you kidding me? You have come all this way through India, to ask me a stupid freaking question?”

He chuckles, shakes his head, and then runs both his hands through his hair and I stand there in a shock. It’s not that he chuckled that shocked me. I am stunned here because when he lifted his hand to his hair, his wrists were revealed.

And I can see the nasty red marks on them. Bloody, nasty marks, literally!

Like somebody took a knife and slit both his wrists again and again and again.

My heart starts thumping in my chest and my breathing becomes unbearably fast. I swallow my fear and meet his eyes again which now have an evil glint in them.